remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize