Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
