Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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