arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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