yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
