Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize