Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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