I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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