I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
