google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
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I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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