You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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