is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
