whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
