I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
