I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
