can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
