i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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