I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
