Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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