if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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