Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
