I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Congratulations! We have a period
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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