haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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