If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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