Screwed.edu
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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