May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
