I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
