this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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