new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
