So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
