Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
