I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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