dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
