he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
