And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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