It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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