its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize