Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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