I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
