Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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