So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
