I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
