Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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