If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
