If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You made out with two different species that night
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
