I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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