I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is Oprah even human
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
