i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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