i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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