When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
