This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
