:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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