I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
