i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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