they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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