We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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